So I was wandering this afternoon through a Home Depot 300 or so miles from Queens down an otherwise deserted aisle and coming towards me was some oblivious guy in a SJU sweatshirt identical to the one I was wearing and when he got within range I said “what are the odds” and he looked at me like I’d asked him for a blowjob and I pointed to my sweatshirt and was like, see, we’re wearing the same sweatshirt and he was like, yeah, we’re wearing the same sweatshirt and he mumbled something about how they needed a win tonight like I was a homeless bum who asked him for a quarter and I was like motherfucker do you know who I am, I’m fun you fucking motherfucker I’m a famous saint john’s fan and you’re a peasant  in the presence of fucking royalty and then he called security and I was escorted from the building but not before I purchased a couple of lovely house plants and two box cutters, because you can never be too safe.