Somewhat in my cups I wrote a bit of a monkeyshine selection Sunday evening, the gist of which was that there were very many St John’s who were less than pleased with a 20 win season that resulted in St. John’s fourth NCAA tournament appearance this century, because St John’s fans are the worst most disgraceful and stupidest fan base in the history of sports. (One chronic malcontent for example claimed that despite their name being called during the various Tournament Selection Shows as part of the field of 68 St John’s had not actually made the NCAA tournament because they were in the play in game. I had to listen several times because the fact that he had the repulsive Steve Lavin’s dick in his mouth all the while obscured his diction, but I made it out eventually.) During the course of that post I used an unfortunate euphemism to categorize St John’s fans – it rhythmed with maggots – for which I was chastised by one of my seven regular readers, which euphemism I later excised, not because I found it offensive, but because I’d rather have seven regular readers than six. That said, it was absolutely the right word. Because St John’s fans suck.

Which is the reason I resolved several months ago to stop reading the retarded (oops! another forbidden word) drivel written by the chowderheads who populate various St John’s fan boards – all of whom are self-proclaimed college basketball insiders and former coaches and D1 athletes and if not that savants – boards where I had been a regular and much beloved poster for over a decade. I did so because the only responses I could think to compose in reply to the incessant twaddle that passes for discourse in those forums involved liberal use of the word cunt, and for some reason the word cunt is against the rules. Whereas in my world it’s de rigeur. So I just stopped participating and I don’t even really miss it. Because St John’s fan boards comprise in the most part the same 17 morons repeating the same tired 11 talking points over and over and over again, without a scintilla of wit or intelligence or insight: which is not surprising, as these are in the main all St John’s graduates. But I thought this evening on the cusp of a St John’s impending and glorious victory over Arizona State (JINX!) to check and see what the intelligensia were thinking. Here follows a sample and I was not disappointed:

Here’s what they had to say about the best player to commit to St John’s since Marcus Hatten:

“I think [Ponds] checked out a while ago. I hate to say it, but it wouldn’t shock me at all if he stopped showing up to class right after our last game”

“[Ponds] has one last chance to play with some heart in the ncaa tourny. If not … I’ll say good f’ing bye. I’ll never ever respect anyone that plays with no heart.”

“Chris should have benched [Ponds] … and yeah I’m talking about about all damn season”

” his attitude this season damages his legacy”

Another die hard is “not holding my breath” [regarding a St John’s victory]

Another wishes for what might have been: “Imagine this team with [folding chair Frederico] Mussini”

Another says of an NCAA tournament bid that “Ponds, and co had a pretty disappointing season”

Fear not fans, because victory is around the corner, if only HOF’er Chris Mullin heeds this sage advice: “My … point of emphasis would simply be hitting open shots.”

Thanks genius. Maybe Coach St Jean will mention that during a time out.

But I really have a special shout out for one acute imbecile, this guy

a 30 year old Uber driver who lives in his mother’s basement and attends home games dressed up in Halloween constumes, who says of the prenaturally talented Shamorie Ponds that “he never really had it between the ears.”

You sir, are a real maggot.