Opportunity: a favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment. — Ambrose Bierce

I’m usually not one to use words like embarrassing and disaster when it comes to sports, even St John’s basketball: the sinking of the Titanic was a disaster; getting a hard-on when the doctor checks your prostate is embarrassing. But what’s been going on at St John’s over the past ten days has been an embarrassment and a disaster and has turned the program into more of a national laughingstock than it’s been for the past 30 years. Consider:

First, St John’s pushed the best player in program history out the door after a 20-win season that culminated in an NCAA tournament bid. Probably this should not have been surprising, since every SJ coach since Brian Mahoney has been fired after making the tournament; only Norm outsmarted them: he never won anything. Next SJ made a generous offer to the university’s choice as Mullin’s successor, Danny Hurley’s brother.  Danny Hurley’s brother rejected their 15 million dollars with a jaunty “Forks Up!” Undaunted SJ then made an 18 million dollar offer to their second choice, a Midwestern mediocrity called Porter Moser, who similarly laughed at them. Let that sink in: a career .500 coach turned down nearly 20 million dollars to coach in Queens.  At this point in the search prospective candidates started preemptively turning down the job: Ryan Odom said flat out ‘please don’t offer me the job.’ Former St John’s player Tim Cluess said ‘If you’re thinking of offering me the job, don’t.’ Currently the only person who hasn’t said no thanks is Tom Pecora, who’s at this moment sitting by the phone, staring at it, willing it to ring.

That last bit was a bit of an exaggeration. In point of fact it seems that SJ is on the verge of offering Rick Pitino Billy Donovan Jim Calhoun Bobby Knight Frank Martin James Jones the gig. And not James Earl Jones – Dook, I am not your father – James not Earl Jones. Jones has a lot going for him: in the 20 years he’s been at Yale he’s won slightly more than a game for every game he’s lost, he’s had a losing record one third of the time, and he’s never recruited a scholarship athlete. And of course the elephant in the room (Patrice O’Neill RIP) he’s black, which will allow the university to put a nice spin on the hire: look at our commitment to diversity. It’s just a shame he’s not as butch as Jessie Smollett, think of all the boxes that would have checked off, a minority LBGTQWERTY who’s been lynched personally by Donald Trump.  Speaking of hard-ons.

Seriously, if they were going to hire a James Jones, I’d have preferred they hired this one.

If nothing else he’d have the good sense to put the program and those of us who are still drinking the Kool-Aid out of our collective miseries and failing that the program could move to Guyana the A-10 (I have another Peoples Temple joke but the punch line is too long. Ba dum. Thanks, I’ll be here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress.)

Seriously, I’ve been a St John’s fan, more than 40 years now. And I’m beginning to suspect that the administration doesn’t know what it’s doing. The other explanation is worse: that the administration thinks you’re stupid and doesn’t give a shit about you, that you’re a rube who’ll continue to support the product no matter how awful it is. I guess we’ll see how dumb you are.